The Unicorns – Who Will Cut Our Hair When We’re Gone?

Indie Pop; 2003

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In 41 minutes, this short-lived Canadian group managed to combine just about every prevalent form of hipster Pop (pun intended), including Indie Pop, Psychedelic Pop, Baroque Pop, Synthpop, Pop Punk, and (of course) Afropop, and do a rather fine job of it. I haven’t been so infatuated with an album since I couldn’t stop listening to Dogs by Beware of Safety, which was at least 6 months ago.

Not every song combines all of those Pop genres, and some are more used than others. Baroque Pop influences are noticeable on just about every track while you’ll only hear their Pop Punk influence on The Clap and Inoculate the Innocuous. There’s a real effort here to make as many references possible to every decade that’s not the 2000’s. You can hear the 60’s in just about every song with synthy organ chords owning the rhythm section. The 70’s in Sea Ghost or Child Star or Jellybones. The 80’s in Tuff Luff and Les OS. And the 90’s in just about every song I didn’t already name and a couple I did.

Still, this is more than nostalgia. There’s a lot here I’ve never heard before, I think that’s partially why I’m so intrigued by it. I was played Ghost Mountain as an introduction to the band. It starts off with a drum synthesizer beat and as soon as the first melody came in I tried labeling it as chiptune, but that was dismissed within 25 seconds as it went into the unobtrusive Baroque/Indie main theme and the first verse that tells a creepy ghost story as the music implies a lullaby begins. It’s irony, but it seems too correct to be paradoxical. The vocal harmonies are some of the most beautiful I’ve ever heard on anything. And I’ve been listening to a lot of Pop Punk lately (mostly against my will) so that’s saying something. To use Ghost Mountain as an example again, I’m the type of guy who likes melodies to be played by an instrument. If the only melody is what the singer is singing, I’m less likely to enjoy the song. But on this track, the whole melody is done by the two singers, “Neil Diamonds” and “Ginger,” and it’s just ok. There’s enough musicality in the rhythm section to keep me happy but it never overtakes the focus on vocals this song has. It’s helpful that they both have great voices, and they really do harmonize like God wishes he could. And that’s just one song. Multiply that awesomeness by 13. There isn’t a bad song anywhere on this album, nor is the gap between best and worst song on the album very big. This is near flawless music.

Note: If you listen to this, tell me if Tuff Ghost reminds you of Scooby Doo at all.

1. I Don’t Wanna Die
2. Tuff Ghost
3. Ghost Mountain
4. Sea Ghost
5. Jellybones
6. The Clap
7. Child Star
8. Let’s Get Known
9. I Was Born (a Unicorn)
10. Tuff Luff
11. Inoculate the Innocuous
12. Les OS
13. Ready to Die

Stand-out tracks:
Ghost Mountain
I Was Born (a Unicorn)
Tuff Ghost

-Jerry